Citilife (Cosmo from an eye of small towner)

“Yeh mumbai hai yahaan waqt ka matlab hai paisa”… “Mumbai aur maut se koi bach nahi sakaa”…”Sholaa hai ya hai bijuriya.. dil ki bazariyaa Mumbai nagariyaa “

Those were the lines in my mind when i came to mumbai  two years earlier as i my first posting to operate from here  ..with lots of hope , excitement, fascination to see the city of cosmopolitan ppl… and of course  to fulfill the  dreams in the  “City of Dreams”.

Now after 2 years.. it seems the life in  metro is as new and  fresh to me .. as it would be to any new comer. Being a Small Towner as one of my colleague call me, I had explored the city like a  curious lonely planet show’s tourist (the one which aired on discovery  channel ) every weekend .

Be it my freinds cum roommates, occassional hook ups with friends in different company living in distant places once in month has helped me adapt the pace of the city ,  Mini India as it is called the colour of mumbai is varied… The city never sleeps is so true that i  am counting my own experiences as awaken through whole night like a barn owl during my third shift work. My office is on the famous Traffic Jammed Andheri-Kurla(AK) road at daytime.  At night the distant sight of national & international flights arriving and taking off through a window of top floor office keeps me awaken checking my eyesight with identifying the Airways logo is good exercise. Lots of flavours ;Shopping in city is my favourite past time .

Not to forget the Salesmanship in mumbai which is actually sees the widest variety of Salesmen from all parts of country for  lots of things .. Some of  these arts , i had recounted in a period of time..

As if you keep your eyes and ears open, you don’t have to go to any IIM, Harvard, Wharton etc for it…

There are sales men and women in mumbai…in all shapes,sizes and pitches, I’ve listed some of my favorites ones.

1. Thanda-meetha coool drinks….. trrrrrrrrrrrrring trrrrrrrrrrrrrrring at Bombay Central station.

2.  Hawkers outside Churchgate subways selling 40 Rupees wala Bermudas and T-shirts  yelling “Gira.. Gira… dekho bhai gira….you’re wondering kya gira, purse??  WTF kya gira??? hawkers in chorus…. dekho bhai Bhav gira…. wonly 40… chaalishhhh..40!!!

3. In Khao Gully (Azad maidan), the dosa wala and his tag team partner literaly pulls you to the stall doing his pitch with a normal Tam accent dosa,idli,vada butter, Chinese, cheese…. then his partner responds by doing the ting ting ting on the Dosa Stove.

4. Short and plump Nepali boys in Nariman point working for Chinese stalls “Aaao bhai Chinese… sheekan/vheez.. fulltoo milegega… one by two milegaa… laaalipop “

5. Most fuckall salesmen are in Alfa (Irla) these C****as think they are doing some major sewa to mankind you can actually see the agony in their face when you ask him to show him different models of Phones and Mobiles, Tshirts etc.

6. In local train “ginje……………ginje…….. ginje……….khaasi bhagao…. timepass timepass….goli…..goli……………...in da vry nasal voice, is a sound which you hear in the corner of the train compartment, its the Ginger Goliwala who sells the Ginger Goli for 50 p, he is the coolest of the lot.

7. Then you have the Kulfiwala who only emerges after 9 pm, at first you can never make out what he is saying  but guys in Mumbai can recognize that sound among a zilllion files…. His sound is something like “fiiiiiiiiiao”     “kufiooooooooooooo”… again in a deep pitched nasal sound but this time its a Sholapuri Ghat.

8. Then Bhandiwalis………”Vaaaasioyoooooooo… Vaaaasiyoooooooooooooo”… this is the most annoying sound, you know its them when the dogs in your building start barking and running for cover, mostly enterprising Gujju ladies they are responsible for fooling our parents into exchanging our faded jeans for some stupid plate or Aluminum  vessel . … I’ve never till date understood what the Vassssiooooooo meant.

9. The most common and one of my favorite the Bhaayia kelawala’s favorite pitch ” Kela khao sehat banao…. he gives your the smirky double meaning look”

10. The guy at the Juhu beach Sulabh Loo pitching the number 2 option when the Susu slots are all full. “Boss jaaneka hai.. Ek Rupiya, he gestures with his 2 fingers udhar khali hai…”

**Life has taken Slow track to Fast track  in 2 years..***

~ by maverickjk07 on May 21, 2008.